Scanxiety: Yup, It's a Thing

And I got it. Let's break it down. Scan. Anxiety. Scanxiety. Got it? If you're still scratching your head, this is the general nervousness cancer patients feel when approaching the date of one of the minimum two PET scans that will be done to confirm that the tumors are shrinking. I feel pretty confident that the scan is going to go well, but I'm nervous nonetheless. What I'm trying to do to manage these feelings is resort to the more regular information I get related to my health, namely my bloodwork results, and they have been remarkably good. Additionally, my lymph nodes have shrunk considerably, so the point here is that I'm likely to hear that the tumor has also shrunk. The question is how much? Then again, I'm not quite at the halfway point of my regimen, so I know I shouldn't get too worked up.

I also feel a bit ambivalent about posting my own good news, given that I'm sure there are bound to be other cancer patients reading this eventually, and not all cancer patients will have reason to be so optimistic. For my own sense of fairness, I'll try to balance any good news I might get with suggestions I have for people on the flipside of any particular issue. With respect to scanxiety, I think, as I said before, that it's critical to rely on the regular information you get about your health, as well as your general physical well-being. In other words, if your bloodwork hasn't been so good, and/or you're just not feeling great still, try to tamp down your expectations of what the scans might tell you. Maybe it is cliche, but it's more difficult to get disappointed or frustrated if you have more limited expectations to begin with. AND THEN, always stay positive! It's just a proven fact that psychological well-being has a direct effect on your overall physiology: positive people simply heal faster. And also try to remember that you might actually feel worse while you are getting better. Chemotherapy, contrary to what the name implies, isn't very therapeutic... it's poison. But it does its job and while it is, you're gonna feel like crap. Especially if your regimen is anything like mine, which in case your curious, is:

DA-EPOCH Regimen
The Dose-Adjusted Etoposide-Prednisone-Vincristine-Cyclophosphamide-Doxorubicin (with other names, abbreviated EPOCH) is probably one of the major breakthroughs in chemotherapy development, especially for the treatment of lymphomas. Unlike the old CHOP regimen, which had about a 50/50 chance of working, my regimen started me at a baseline dose during cycle one and then increases the concentration of the three main anti-cancer drugs by 20% for each cycle. As long as I respond well, my final dose will be 2.2 times the original dose given during cycle 1. If you have lymphoma and are being treated with DA-EPOCH, you can relax a bit. It's almost certainly going to work. What remains unclear, however, is whether or not the cancer comes back. As with all things, staying positive (though simplistic), is just the best possible therapy for a cancer patient, and I'm doing my best to take a bit of my own advice.

By the way, if you've read my blog and have any comments/questions, please please please send them to me. You can either reply to a particular post, or shoot me an e-mail. I would just love to hear from you.