Favorite Things: My Top 20 Apps

Well, as promised, this is the first in a series of "favorite things" posts, which I hope will bring a little light-heartedness to what can be a sometimes serious, heavy blog. I thought it appropriate to begin a list of my favorite things with a list of my favorite apps, a gentle nod to the consummate e-nerd that I am. When you have cancer, you think twice about using the phrase "cannot live without," but just shy of that, these are simply must-have apps that I use throughout the day, everyday. And if you're like me, you're always looking for new, trendy apps to liven up your digital life. Just an upfront disclaimer: these are all for Android. If you're using that "fruity" brand, the availability and nature of these apps might be different. Enjoy...









THE MISCELLANY HOOTENANNY'S TOP 20 APPS

1. GO LAUNCHER EX: Every phone has a home screen launcher... it's the app that runs when you press the home button. You could never change it and just use the factory-installed version, and probably be fine. But why just be fine? There are several really fantastic home screen launchers out there that allow you to customize virtually every aspect of your mobile experience, and in my (and several million others') opinion, GO Launcher EX is just the best out there. Seriously, give it a try, and if you don't like it, you can always uninstall.
2. FIREFOX FOR ANDROID: Honestly, and although I use Firefox on every one of my other computers, I never thought to change the Internet browser on my phone. I did recently, just out of curiosity, and I am SO happy I did. Enough said.
3. FACEBOOK MOBILE: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Facebook mobile is probably better than the full Internet version. The interface is streamlined and easy to use, without sacrificing any (from what I can tell) of the features you get using the full Internet version. If you haven't tried it, you really should.
4. AVG ANTIVIRUS FREE: You probably didn't think about getting an antivirus program for your phone, but an antivirus is probably more essential for your phone nowadays than it is for your computer. I've been using AVG Free for years, and it's simply the best, comprehensive, all-free antivirus program out there. And if you're partial to paranoia (like me), you can cheaply upgrade to the full version for not a lot of dough. 
5. BANKING APP: For privacy reasons, I'm not going to divulge exactly which banking app I use, but if you bank with any reasonably large, or otherwise reputable, bank, it is likely to have an app. And as long as you change your password frequently, I HIGHLY recommend downloading it. The financial world is definitely trending this way, and, frankly, I don't know how I managed my finances before. Mobile banking is where it's at.
6. GOOGLE KEEP: FINALLY! An app for the yellow-sticky-note-obsessed! Everything and more you ever wanted for the chronic list-maker. (Also on my top widgets list.)
7. POCKET: I just found this little gem of an app recently, and boy am I glad I did. Ever wish you could just take that recipe or that article from a newspaper, or whatever, and just stick it in your pocket? Well, now you can. This app interfaces with the "Share" function in every other app, and downloads anything and everything you can imagine into a beautifully crisp, yet simple, interface. With the option to add labels and organize your downloads, you'll never read anything right away again... you'll stick it in your Pocket and read it later!
8. ALLTHECOOKS: For the foodies out there, this is just the best recipe exchange app out there. The simple, logical interface is what first attracted me to it, but with the option to add your own recipes in a REALLY easy UI, I'm now using this app to digitize my endless collection of recipes from God-knows-how-many books and collections. You'll never wonder what's for dinner again.
9. DOUBLETWIST: This is, in my opinion, the best among the dozens of music players out there, and considering that the "fruit" brand does music better than anyone else, having this app on your phone equalizes things a little bit. Did I mention that it allows you to snyc your iTunes library with your phone, for free! Seriously, download it NOW.
10. GMAIL: This app literally changed my life. Since downloading it, I honestly can't remember the last time I checked or sent e-mail from a computer. I'd say that's an endorsement. 
11. FLIPBOARD: This is probably the coolest little app I've ever found, and to be honest, I don't really remember how I found it, although it is safe to say it was likely during one of my prednisone-induced-Play-store "shopping" sessions. Flipboard is news app meets Pinterest meets online magazine browser. You select from tons of various topics and tons of various outlets within those topics (e.g. NPR under the News tab, or Kitchn under the Food tab). Once you have your own little mix of feeds in place, you can view them from the app's home screen in an easy "flippable" interface, or have them scroll in intervals with the app's widget (yes, this is on my favorite widgets list too, coming soon). No account is necessary, but if you want to customize the experience a bit more, you can log in using Facebook or even Twitter. And to top it all off, you can "flip" favorite articles or pieces into your very own "magazines," which also have the option to be made public... making you an instant publisher! Could it get any cooler?
12. gREADER PRO: Okay. There are a LOT of readers out there. Pocket definitely tops my list, but for certain things you may want to retain the option of using a basic RSS reader than does RSS feeds very well and not much of anything else. For me, I like to use an RSS reader for my statistics subscriptions, and the one I go with is gReader Pro. It syncs with your Google account, if you want, and provides a very clean, limited (yet customizable) interface that lets you git-r-done, if you will, with your RSS feeds. The widget is also really sweet and a must-have, and on my top widgets list. :) (Coming Soon, I promise.)
13. GOOGLE DRIVE: If you haven't quite figured it out yet, I'm a Google man. I'm not naive, and I have my justified concerns about privacy and whatnot. But frankly, this is just the world we live in, and as long as you take reasonable and recommended precautions, you may as well just jump into the (or UP into) the Cloud and never look back. As a student and academic, the ability to access one or all of my many, many papers, exams, research articles, etc... is a necessity. And considering that Google Drive syncs with your Gmail and other Google apps, I think it's a notch above Dropbox, or similar Cloud-based storage services.
14. ESFILEEXPLORER: Once again, phones are basically small computers. What lacks on many phones is the ability to explore their contents much in the same way you would a computer's hard drive. This is starting to get a bit more advanced/nerdy than most people would need out of their phone, but if you are so inclined, a decent file explorer is a must-have, and ESFileExplorer is the best out there, giving you all the functionality and ease-of-interface that you would get using Windows File Explorer, for example.
15. ZEDGE: If you like ringtones, and who doesn't, download this. It's totally free and has virtually every possible song/notification tone you could ever imagine. 
16. PICSPEED: Just the best (and largest I might add) wallpaper app out there. 
17. AMAZON MOBILE: If you're hooked on Amazon (like I am), you just gotta download the app.
18. MYHABIT: This is posh, up-scale companion to Amazon that features really swanky big name brands at ridiculously low prices. A must-have for the fashionistas out there.
19. ULTIMATE CALL SCREEN: Bet you never thought to change your call screen, did you? Neither did I, then I found this app. It lets you sync your contacts photos with Facebook, change the appearance of the answer/reject buttons, and more. Really, really cool, and interfaces remarkably well with Android.
20. WORDS WITH FRIENDS: Need I say more?

Victory Velvet Cake: Something To Look (Droolingly) Forward To

Picture from Google Images

I made a red velvet cake recently for a family member's birthday, and it reminded me how much fun this cake can be. I've made it in a variety of other colors for their appropriately hued holidays (for example, green velvet for St. Patty's Day), but I had the idea of incorporating the versatility of the cake with a way to celebrate whatever cancer victory you wish (i.e. end of chemo, 2-year all-clear, etc..). Lymphoma is represented by lime green, very close to the cake pictured, although this particular cake is not mine. But you could do any variety of colors depending on your type of cancer. This is now my recipe for red velvet cake, although it is about the fifth or sixth adjustment to the original recipe I used for Paula Deen's "Grandmother Paul's" red velvet cake. I plan on making a lime green velvet cake soon, so I'll be sure to post some pictures as soon as they are available. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this recipe.



VICTORY VELVET CAKE with VANILLA BEAN CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

For the cake:

• 2 sticks butter
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 3 tablespoons cocoa powder
• 1 to 2 ounces food coloring (depending on color and desired intensity)
• 3 cups cake flour (2 1/2 if using only 1 ounce food coloring)
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 tablespoon vinegar

For the icing:

• 2 8-ounce packages cream cheese, softened
• 2 sticks butter, softened
• 1 1-lb box confectioners' sugar (more or less depending on taste)
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• scraped seeds of one vanilla bean (optional, but recommended)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. In a large bowl, cream together sugar and butter until pale and fluffy. Mix in eggs, one at a time.
3. Mix in food coloring (use only 1 ounce at this point).
4. On a sheet of wax paper, sift together flour, salt, and cocoa powder.
5. Add buttermilk and sifted dry ingredients alternately to bowl, ending with dry ingredients.
6. In a small bowl, stir together vinegar and baking soda (it will fizz) and add to bowl, stir well.
7. Add vanilla.
8. Observe the color. Cake will bake approximately 1 shade darker. If desired, add up to one additional ounce of food coloring.
9. Divide batter evenly among 3 8- or 9-inch greased rounds, and bake approximately 20 to 25 minutes until a cake tester comes out clean. Allow cakes to cool completely.
10. Meanwhile for the icing, cream together butter and cream cheese until thoroughly blended. Mix in salt, vanilla, and vanilla bean seeds. Test for sweetness and add more sugar, if desired.
11. If icing appears too thick, you may add about a teaspoon of milk at a time until desired consistency is reached.
12. Place a little icing on the surface of a cake platter and situate one layer. Add a few dollops of icing, smooth, and place another layer on top. Repeat for the third layer, inverting the top layer so the flat bottom is facing up. 
13. Spoon some of the icing on top and using an offset spatula, spread the icing over the top and down onto the sides of the cake. Continue adding icing in this fashion until a thin layer of icing surrounds the entire cake. (This is called a "dirty" icing, and does not have to be perfect.) Refrigerate approximately 30 minutes until icing has hardened some.
14. Remove cake and frost with the remaining icing. The hardened "dirty icing" will allow you to achieve a smoother, cleaner final frosting. If any icing is left over, spoon into a pastry bag fitted with a star tip and use to add a decorate border around the bottom and/or top edge of the cake.
15. Garnish additionally as desired and according to to chosen coloring. Strawberries or raspberries go nicely with red velvet cake, whereas lime wedges or kiwi slices might be nice with a green velvet cake. Use your imagination!
16. If not serving immediately, it is highly recommended that you keep this cake refrigerated. You can remove the cake 30 minutes prior to serving and allow to set at room temperature if you do not like a cold cake.
17. ENJOY!

Discharged Today: Feeling Better, But Plan Is To Not Act Like It

I'm like most people... the minute I start feeling better I jump back into action and inevitably overdo it. I'm not going to do that this time. This trip to the hospital took a lot out of me. Although I was admitted for a low white blood cell count (neutropenia), I was also suffering from a colitis flareup, which has renewed some concerns that when all is said and done with my cancer, I might still have to deal with UC.

A lesson to be learned here is that the health of a cancer patient is extremely volatile and prone to change. For this reason, and although I'm feeling 100% better, I'm still going to take a day or two to relax and recoup while at home. Lighter meals and a lot of rest for a few days should help to ensure that I don't negate the progress I've made in the hospital. Although, kinda funny here, I'll just be back here next week for chemo round 4.

Admitted to the ER: One Way to Find Out Good News

The thing with my treatment regimen is eventually the dose gets high enough that it starts to attack your body as much as it does the cancer. For me, this limit was reached at the third cycle, or 160% the original dose. I started feeling pretty crappy Tuesday night and by Wednesday afternoon a call to my oncologist landed me an all expense paid vacation to the hospital (for neutropenic fever). This type of fever is brought on by neutropenia, or a condition marked by dangerously low white blood cell counts. The treatment is granulocyte colony stimulating factor (aka Neupogen) to stimulate white blood cell production, as well as broad spectrum antibiotics to protect against infection.

This is actually pretty common among chemo patients, although it is a serious condition. But it means that we've found the right amount of chemotherapy appropriate for my body and in order to continue progress. And speaking of progress, a CT scan revealed significant improvement of the metastasis tumor in my colon. So for now, onward, cautiously.

Apologies for a Few Days of No Posts (or Energy)

I suppose that even if none of my readers mind that much, I do mind when I get behind on posts. It gives me a certain sense of structure and control to post regularly to this, my precious little project. And if you've followed any of my progress, you'd know that so far my treatments have panned out in a stellar fashion. This one felt different, however. We celebrated a family member's birthday over the weekend, and I felt pretty good preparing a nice meal of pan seared scallops and flounder, 4 cheese macaroni cheese, stewed tomatoes, and red velvet cake (stay tuned for an upcoming twist to that recipe here). But roundabout Sunday night, I just started to feel tired.

Certainly part of it was just the lack of sleep (thank you, prednisone) catching up to me. And sure as sugar, when I got home from the office on Monday I fell asleep on the couch and proceeded to sleep until about 6am Tuesday morning. That alone made me feel a LOT better. But my doctor also called this morning and told me I needed to get Neupogen because my white blood cell count had dipped very low. By the way, I found out that my insurance fully covers the ludicrously high $3000.00/shot cost of this medication, for which I am inexplicably relieved considering I need two more this week. But I'm not too bummed about this whole situation, because so far I've been very lucky. I expected that at some time things might not go exactly perfectly. There's also an encouraging possible explanation for the WBC dip in that there may just not be much cancer left, sending the chemo to take a relatively higher toll on my immune system than it has so far.

Anyway, I'm feeling better and should have many more posts added over the next day or two. I'm just keeping in mind--as anyone should really--that the downs in life only help me to appreciate the ups that much more.

On Best Friends Day: An Aristotelean Confluence of Events

Aristotle (although I am, by no means an authority here) spoke about the driving process of the universe as the occurrence of impossible probabilities. That is, or at least this is what I take from it, each of us live our distinctly individualized lives because a series of probable events often occur (impossibly) at the same time, therein making similar experiences lived quite differently for different people.

Earlier this week I made plans with my best friend's mom to continue working on an advocacy project related to chronic depression awareness. You may have read elsewhere here that I lost my best friend of over 20 years to a crappy fight with chronic depression, although that is the extent of detail I will share for now. It just so happens that the very day I am planning to do this turns out to be "Best Friends Day." Now, I don't know who makes these days up, but I like them and I just go with it. But I find it all a bit eerie, and it seemed post-worthy.

The thing about chronic depression, for that matter all of mental health, is that it occupies a distinctly different place within our understanding of health. We often minimize mental health problems as if they are somehow optional; at best, mental illness also rarely presents itself in a recognizable way in the sense that a cancer patient (like myself) is easily identified. And depression is also a highly social problem, as it often involves near paralysis on the part of the depressed resulting from perceived, albeit nonexistent, reactions from others. My best friend's mom (who I call mom as well) has a beautifully simplistic way of putting it: "If there is something wrong with your heart, you can get a new one, but if there is something wrong with your brain, you can't get a new one of those." So herein also lies the message of this post: if someone you know is going through depression, take them seriously, and if you care about this issue the way I do, look forward in the future to me sharing some of the results of the advocacy work I'm beginning soon.

A New Post Feature for A New Decade

 

So here's the thing: I kinda like my life... okay, I love my life. It sounds like a rather "captain obvious" statement, but not everyone can say that. Most people at least dislike, if not hate, huge aspects of their lives. Some people hate their jobs, or where they live, or the amount of money they make, etc... Not me. I mean, I'm not trying to be coy here: of course there are things I would like to change. But for the most part, at this point in my life's story, I am ethereally content with where I am, what I do, and where I am going. And it has taken a while for me to get here. The first half of my twenties set me on the fast-track toward becoming an unfortunate social statistic, but as I've mentioned before, with a lot of help and a LOT of hard work, I've been able to right the ship of my past. I'm doing what I want to do, I'm living where and how I want to live, and I've become the type of person I've always wanted to be. And this is all happening eerily close to my 30th birthday.

Since blogging can, and often does, devolve into little more than chaotic rambling, I thought that it might be nice to introduce a new type of post to my blog that features my "favorite things." These will be intermittent "Top 10" lists, if you will, of various things that I have just come to love, and that I feel make my life and routine unique. And in doing this, I'm hoping maybe someone else might come to enjoy one or more of these things as much as I do. Stay tuned for the first of these posts very soon!

Nationwide Drug Shortages Hit WAY Too Close To Home: The Curious Case of Vincristine

Roughly a year ago, media outlets began covering the news of widespread chemotherapy drug shortages in the United States. At least one of driving interests in this news was the fact that these shortages are disproportionately impacting children and women. One of these drugs, vincristine (a.k.a. oncovin), is among the most frequently short-supplied chemotherapy agents, and is used prolifically in the treatment of leukemia and other blood-related cancers. You think about this and, certainly, anyone with a pulse would be moved to empathy, but probably in a quite disconnected way. You just don't realize how important a regular supply of these drugs is until, like the situation I found myself in during my third round of treatment, the pharmacist informs you that one of your life-saving drugs is not available. Of the four days I was in treatment, they had on hand enough vincristine for two days.

Of course I've explained that I'm a social statistician, so immediately my mind went to thoughts of whether the regimen would be effective with vincristine administered only half the time. Miraculously, and due in no small part to the vigilance and dedication of my healthcare team, they were able to locate enough vincristine for me to receive it the whole time. And you would think I'd be happy, but in fact, I was quite disturbed by this. It's all basic economics: if I get a drug in short supply, then someone else who also needs it is probably not going to get it. This is a cruel and utterly avoidable dilemma that oncology finds itself in, here in the United States.

Additionally, the public's understanding of this crisis is quite complicated. The Institute for Safe Medication Practices, for example, has extensively researched this issue and has found that despite the fact that shortages impact as many as 1-in-4 of all cancer patients, that most people fundamentally don't understand the reasons why drug shortages occur. A fantastic article in the New England Journal of Medicine, however, elucidated the issue quite directly: it's all about money. Vincristine, for example, is made from a simple flower, so there is no real medical reason as to why it should be in short supply. Simply put, drug companies have difficulty making the profit margins they would like off of drugs that are essentially naturally-occurring compounds; so... what they do, in effect, is stop making them from time to time so they can drive up the cost of the available supply. For all the sacrosanctness of "American exceptionalism," which by the way I largely agree with, it's just plain disgusting that we value profits over peoples' lives in something as literally life-or-death as cancer treatment.

It's difficult to say what can be done about this, especially given the enormous power of BigPharma; but change, as it were, has almost always occurred at the grassroots level. Some believe, as I think is a valid analysis, that the plain reality that people are dying so a few companies can make a buck will eventually catalyze a healthcare-centered solution to this problem. I certainly hope so, because most attempts to deal with this issue, to date, have been unsuccessful. The free market is a wonderful thing, and it has certainly driven the American economy to great riches; it also has NO place involving itself in decisions about whether or not people live. Please support organizations like Stop Drug Shortages so we can put an end to this atrocity now.

Oh! Hi there, Chemo Round 3...

Last night I felt the full gravity of what my doctor meant when he said, "We are going to treat you aggressively." Backing up a bit, I should note that most of the pain I have had up to this point has quite manageable, either through exercise or pain medication. I think to some degree I had the misconception (even though I know better) that as the cancer dissipated, the pain would also. But when you think about it, that doesn't make a lick of sense.

The thing to consider here is that, however abnormal, the tumors have in fact become a part of my body. Killing them, as the chemotherapy is doing, is really no different than surgically removing any normal part of my body, like a muscle or a piece of intestine. And the pain you might expect with such a procedure is very similar to the pain experienced during effective chemotherapies.

So to some extent I am relieved. At least I know it's working. The primary tumor, located in a lymph node on the right side of my neck, has all but dissipated, and I have minimal to no lymph node involvement anymore, which is a very good thing for lymphoma to be sure. But, as is common with blood and lymph cancers, my own cancer metastasized to my colon, as well. That tumor--which doctors refer to as a metastasis(es)--seems to be the last one to go, and because of its location in a physiologically active area of my body, I'm REALLY feeling it. For the time being, my only option is to manage the pain through pain medication, which believe it or not is only mildly effective here. But I'm also of the mindset that it's only temporary, and if anything it has made me more anxious/excited to see the results of my scan, which will take place prior to the fourth treatment. I'll be sure to share as soon as I know anything...

Homemade Peanut Butter Cups: Need I Say More?

I observed an insane amount of peanut butter in my pantry and several partly-used bags of chocolate and thought, peanut butter cups? Oh yes. The photo is of a recipe I made that I found on an app I use, but I have adjusted the recipe to reflect my desired changes. It gives you the general idea of what they end up looking like though. Aren't they great! Yes, there is a disturbing amount of butter in this recipe, but what's wonderful about these is that you can actually eat just one and feel satisfied!










HOMEMADE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS

Filling:

• 1 jar (16-18oz.) creamy peanut butter (I use Peter Pan)
• 2 sticks butter (you heard me right, don't judge me!)
• 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar (up to 3 cups based on your tastes)
• scant pinch salt

Coating:

• 1 bag semisweet chocolate chips
• 1 stick butter
• 1/2 teaspoon espresso powder (optional)

Assembly Options:

1. 13x9in. baking dish lined with wax paper OR
2. 2 12-count cupcake pans with wrappers OR
3. 2 24-count mini-muffin pans with wrappers 

Directions:

1. Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat.
2. Turn the heat to LOW and add peanut butter, mixing constantly until smooth.
3. Take the pan off the heat and add sugar and salt, stir VERY well, it will be a workout.
4. In a separate microwaveable dish, melt butter and chocolate by microwaving for 20-seconds, stirring, and repeating, about 4 to 5 times. Stir in espresso powder.
5. If using the BAR option, just pour PB mixture into the pan, cover with chocolate, and refrigerate until chocolate is set.
6. If using the CUPS option, fill each lined cup about 1/3 the way with the chocolate, and use a spoon to spread the chocolate upwards along the sides of the liners. Refrigerate about 30 minutes until chocolate is mostly hardened.
7. Then, spoon some of the PB mixture (about 1 tsp for mini-muffins or 2 tsps. for cupcakes) in the center of each chocolate cup, flattening out the top just a bit. Reheat the chocolate just enough to make it pourable again (in 20-second intervals ONLY) and cover each cup with enough chocolate to fill the wrapper. Refrigerate again until chocolate is set, at least 30 minutes. Enjoy! 

Cream Cheese Chicken: A Soothing (AND EASY) Meal for the Cancer Patient (Or Anyone, Really)

Picture from a Google Search. The recipe is mine, however.

Easy is where it's at when you're trying to make wholesome meals and be on chemo. Eating out too much is just not good, period. And cooking for yourself has a number of mental and physical health benefits. For me, it's all about slow-cooking. I've had this recipe for a long time, and while it may appear to be unhealthy, it actually isn't at all, and can be easily tweaked to reflect more health-conscious ingredients. Did I mention it's easy???









CREAM CHEESE CHICKEN 

• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 stick butter (or half butter, half chicken stock)
• 1 envelope dry Italian dressing (Good Seasonings)
• 1 8oz. package cream cheese (you can use light cream cheese)
• 1 can Cream of Chicken and Mushroom soup (or any Cream of Chicken soup)
• 1 8-12oz. jar mushrooms, drained

1. Place chicken in a slow cooker with butter and dry Italian dressing. Cook on low 6-8 hours.
2. During last hour of cooking, add remaining ingredients. Stir well before serving.
3. Serve over Basmati or brown rice and with broccoli for a healthy meal.

How's this for a Hootenanny? Health Roles, Statistical Significance, and The Meaning of It All

First of all, I apologize for the past few post-less days... but they've been a busy few at that. By the time I got home from the hospital on Monday, I had little to no energy to do much of anything but lay on the couch. This was, however, incredibly therapeutic and relaxing, and I encourage my fellow cancer patients to do it often. Tuesday was busier and involved a lot of tidying up, unpacking the hospital bag, and catching up on a dizzying amount of e-mails. Don't get too far behind in your personal and professional lives when you're going through treatment, as it helps to be able to think about something besides cancer. Finally, today I decided to go into the office, and this decision warrants a bit of explanation vis-a-vis the sociology of health.

Roles, Behaviors, and Health
Although I'm a social statistician now, my training is fundamentally as a sociologist, and one tenet of sociological theory involves the importance of "roles." Roles are pretty self-explanatory, but they capture the various social positions we occupy and the behaviors associated with or expected of them. It is tempting when you're going through something like cancer to be singularly focused on the role of "cancer patient." This is understandable, but problematic, because we also know that fulfilling multiple roles and role behaviors is correlated with a more positive self-concept and better health. Put another way, focusing too much on your treatment might actually hinder your physiological recovery... it's true!

Thus the lesson here, and one which seems to be panning out quite perfectly in my own situation, is that we (by "we" I mean all cancer patients AND their support networks) should recognize the time and place to be focused on treatment, and thus also when to forget about it for a while. I'm not suggesting we go all Marco Polo on it and start traveling the globe, but a few simple tips can help you keep balance in your life, and promote the feeling of "wantedness" or importance that leads to greater self-esteem and improved psychophysiology.

1. Keep at least an hour a day set aside for doing something "hobby-like" that you enjoy. For me this is definitely blogging, but it also includes cooking and baking. 
2. Whether personal or professional, keep up at least on checking and responding to e-mails. It assures your friends and colleagues that you're doing well, and it feels really good to stay "in the loop."
3. Spend some time outside, like in your yard or on the deck, but stay close to home. Obviously we need to be careful about going out too much, because of the risk of infection, but when it's nice out, the fresh air and sunshine can be marvelously healing and is a beautiful counterpoint to the dank, stale air of hospitals.
4. Exercise, a little bit. DON'T go to the gym, but I've found a few rounds of going up and down the stairs slowly is actually very refreshing. It also helps to release endorphins, which stimulate the product of hormones that promote healing.

Statistical Significance and Effective Chemotherapies
Okay so this is definitely a bit heady but involves a funny story. My regimen (DA-EPOCH) involves adjusting upwards the initial dose of the primary drugs by 20% each treatment cycle, to a total final dose equivalent to twice the original dose. Blah, blah, blah, I know. But being the consummate nerd that I am, I actually read the literature on this regimen and follow the course of my treatments very closely. I had noticed this past cycle that my daily infusions were taking longer than 24 hours (upwards of 27 to 28 hours, in fact), which made me wonder whether I was, in fact, getting the precise dose associated with the statistical awesomeness of this regimen. I pointed this out to the nurse, who pointed it out to the pharmacist, who pointed it out to the doctor, who agreed that I had a point (he really doesn't know what to do with me, lol). The problem was that the increased mass of the larger doses of chemo displaced the total volume, which was not being factored in to the infusion rates. The solution was to turn the rates up, to ensure that the drugs were delivered over a strict 24-hour time frame. OKAY: here's the point... BE INVOLVED IN YOUR TREATMENT.. the best way you know how. It gives you a feeling of control, and trust me, healthcare professionals prefer patients who work with them on getting you better.

The Meaning of Things and the Power of the Human Will
This might be a bit metaphysical for some people, but I must confess that despite being a hyperrationalist, I actually follow horoscopes pretty closely. I'll be the first to admit that a good portion of the whole horoscope thing is pretty much hokum. Nevertheless I find them to be thought-provoking, and they help me to stay more deliberate in the words I speak and the actions I take. Sometimes they don't make a whole lot of sense, but I like to find meaning in them by way of what transpires throughout the day. The sum total of this process has led me to believe that whether or not everything really does happen for a reason is irrelevant, because ultimately things can happen for a reason if you give them one. This year has accumulated some pretty intense life experiences for me, to the point where I have come to believe that this year represents a radical turning point in my life. Prior to getting treatment I had almost accepted that I was going to die... I knew something was wrong, but like so many people I was scared to the point of atrophy, and figured that if I didn't find out what was wrong, that maybe it would just go away. But once I started getting treatment, the realization that death was not imminent was followed by a showering of blessings and opportunities in both my personal and professional life. It's strange to say, but there's almost a bit of fear in this new phase of my life, since it feels like everything I knew no longer is, and everything that will be is newly rewritten. But it's also incredibly freeing, because it means that from here on out, I understand that the path my life takes really is the result of the decisions I make in my life, and this has led to a new determination to stay healthy, positive, and balanced.

Chemo 101 meets Physics 101: Rate times Time = Distance

So this is my final full day of chemo for this round. If you're having inpatient chemotherapy, it's your last day where you want to pay particular attention to the infusion rates on the machines and, relatedly, the volume to be infused. I have had recurrent issues with these numbers, and no, it's not just me being a math nerd.

Instead it turns out that there is anywhere from 1 to 3 hours worth of normal solution left in the bag even when the machine says the bag is done. This is natural: the chemo mass actually adds a bit of volume to the overall solution. But, since my infusions must be given over 24 hours (+/- a few minutes Max) it requires a bit of recalibration on our end to ensure that the 24 hour cycle remains intact.

Gone unnoticed or unchecked as it did during my second cycle, you could find yourself in a situation that puts you 6 or more hours beyond your expected completion time. And by the time I'm dealing with twice the original dose (during cycle 6) the added mass could add a whole day even. Since this can't happen, it's important that you remain informed about your treatment and in constant communication with your doctors and nurses.

In my case, my doctor appreciated me pointing this out. The nature of my treatment is to increase the dosage sequentially over the SAME time period in order to allow the chemo to be as aggressive as the cancer. If the time frame had been accidentally extended because of a simple oversight about the basic rules of physics, then I might never have received the optimal dosage that is associated with the treatment's high rate of efficacy.

But this is starting to get a little mathy, when there is a general point to be made here. IF YOU THINK SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT, ASK QUESTIONS!!! Remember that your prognosis is as much a function of what the doctor does as of what you do. The best outcomes arise when a partnership is formed between the healthcare provider and an informed, yet respectful and humble, patient.

Chemo 101: Just When You Think You Got It All Figured Out...

"It" changes altogether. My concerns about steroid dependency are somewhat addressed. My doctor agrees with me that the abnormally high dose I'm on has likely made me instantly dependent. Therefore, I'm going to stay on at least a low dose of prednisone for the foreseeable future. This doesn't really resolve the dependency, but it will put an end to the withdrawal symptoms, which for now are purely intolerable.

But more to the point here, I had assumed as before that the jump up to 240mg of prednisone during each of the days I'm in the hospital would hit me the way it did before, that is to say rendering me ultraproductive. In fact at this point, I'm now on day 3 of 4, it has done little more than hyperstimulate me to the point of catharsis and narcolepsy. That said, I apologize for the heretofore unpublished posts which are still forthcoming and will be up this week.

But I thought I'd take this short moment of reprieve to share this lesson that I'm coming to learn. That is that the way you respond to treatment while at home is likely to be far different from the way you respond while in the hospital. For me I tend to have a good bit of energy and creative urge while at home, though the hospital just makes me feel delirious. Frankly I can only take so much of being in the hospital before I feel that I can get no better until I leave. I'm thankful that my regimen is only 4 days, because much longer than that and I might become a basketcase. But That's another post altogether. Needless to say, to be continued...