It seems like a contradiction in terms to say that the day my life began (again) was the fateful day a few months ago when my oncologist walked into the room and uttered the words, "You have a very aggressive cancer." But I suppose this is fast-forwarding the story that, humbly, is my life. And I further suppose that any proper blog should feature at least a modest introduction to the blogger. I'll try to be unassuming, but whether read or not-read, this entry is probably more self-therapy than useful knowledge. I feel a bit like my life has been an exercise in beating the odds, since as a social statistician, I'm more aware than I'd like to be of how I should not be alive or successful today.
On the surface I'm your typical white male, but therein the privilege ends. In the interest of moderated disclosure, I'll just say that men have never played a prominent role in my family life. I was raised by my two moms--sisters, in fact--who made the fruitful decision each to raise their children together in one household. So, we have my two moms, my sister (genetically my cousin, but as a sociologist I know that sibling relationships are more about interaction than blood), and my grandmother... and me, the lone male. And that's my family, the best family a guy could ask for; it's a hootenanny--highly informal, entirely unconventional, and very feminine. But it made me the man I am today and I wouldn't trade it for anything. And for that matter, it is one of the reasons that I find the United States' lack of a coherent family policy so appalling. Beating the odds, part one.
As for the details? Well, let's just say that despite more recent progressive trends, being gay in America has not been easy. Beating the odds, part two? Maybe. But that's only after I spent the better part of my early twenties embroiled in drug addiction, the end result being failing out of school and barely getting by in the retail industry. It's hard to say what makes people break, but I have... twice. Perhaps the only constant in my life has been my family. In fact, it was at their suggestion some five years ago, that (more out of desperation than sudden enlightenment) I decided to go back to school. Thank God. That first night of classes completely reversed the trajectory of my past decisions. I went on to earn a B.S. in Sociology, magna cum laude, and most recently an M.A. in Applied Sociology, also magna cum laude. I am now earning my doctorate in Policy Evaluation and Quantitative Methodology (read NERD), and teach college statistics and research methods at my alma mater (how cool is that?) But I had a lot of help from my family: they've always been there for me, and that's why I spend every day of my life hoping that I can be there for them.
Lest this sound self-aggrandizing, this is the part of the blog where I hope that my apparent self-indulgence will instead serve as inspiration to the unlikely visitor who may be going through a series of unfortunate events. If you are young, gay, Black, Hispanic, female, etc..., life is hard, but with a little bit of determination and a LOT of love from the right people, anything is possible. PLEASE know this. Don't ever apologize for who you are, only for what you've done. And after that, do better.
Fast-forward to today. I don't know if you can anthropomorphize a year, but regardless, I have had to tell 2013 to calm down more than once lately. After getting my Master's in December, I spent the entire month of January and most of February convincing myself that I had recurrent flu. Like so many people, I put off going to the doctor until the Nth hour. A few scans, exploratory surgery, and a negative biopsy later, and it was determined that I had ulcerative colitis. Thank god for the learned suspicion of a few incredibly talented doctors who referenced my tests only to find out that I have a very aggressive form of lymphoma that had metastasized to my colon (stage 4). Prior to 6 weeks ago, I would've had approximately 3 months to live, but thanks to the best oncologist, nurses, and family in the world, I'm beating the odds, part three. My prognosis is for a full cure, but when you've confronted death, you approach everything anew, with the curiosity and elation of a child's mind. My best friend of 20 years also committed suicide, which will needless-to-say, play a strong part in shaping the nature of my advocacy for the future. For the two "bummers" I've endured this year, I also got in to my number one PhD program, and got work on a National Science Foundation grant. I have a LOT to be thankful for, and I feel in no small way that I have a solemn obligation to pay it forward. Hence, this blog.
As for said-blog, cancer will likely feature prominently for some time, but I'm also a consummate foodie, and activist scholar. I'll try to feature meal ideas and recipes that I have found to be conducive to the life of a working family-person, and will occasionally ask that you indulge me in a bit of nerd-talk or academic discourse. Other than that, I can't wait to see where this goes! And thanks for reading!
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